Last post in Uganda

Instead of writing my final paper, I’ve decided to write my final blog. Procrastination at its finest, people. In one week from today, we leave campus (and (partially) reliable internet), so any updates will probably happen once I return home, in one month from today!

I thought I’d bring this baby full circle and touch upon a subject that I wrote about before even getting here. The whole idea of God’s will is something that I, like many, struggle with. I often ask myself if I am taking the journey that God has laid out for me. I often find myself lamenting that I don’t have a personalized guidebook from God himself, to help me figure out what I should be doing with my life and how to deal with things when they don’t go according to plan. The final book we are reading is called “Just Do Something”, by I don’t remember at the moment. Kevin something-or-other, I think. It’s short and blunt, but addresses the fact that we often waste time trying to figure out what God’s will for our lives is while all we need to do is take the first step. Nothing happens out of the will of God and while we are expected to be obedient, He gives us freedom of choice when it comes to decisions that are not morally based. It’s something that I needed to hear. Especially considering the fact that there are so many decisions to be made once I get home, and that I want to be intentional about living faithfully and building relationships and living in community. I think it’s something that a lot of people my age-ish need to hear as well (so go read it gosh-darnit, along with ‘Irresistible Revolution”). So how do we live without each getting our own personal ikea-eque manual? I haven’t the slightest clue, ha! But it reminds me of the verses in Joshua where God tells the Israelites to cross the Jordan into the Promised Land. The priests first had to step into the water before He miraculously stopped the river for the people to cross. Sometimes we just have to make a flippin’ decision and go with it, knowing that God’s providence covers it. I hate making decisions, especially when more than one option seems good… Just putting it out there.

Safari was awesome, a wonderful way to finish the semester (I’ll try to post pictures. If it doesn’t work, check out my facebook page. If that doesn’t work, patience – I’ll put them up when I get home.) My final day at practicum was bitter-sweet, final classes have mostly been sweet, and spending time with the friends I’ve made has made me sad to leave. But I’m excited to come home… I think… I hope… Well, that’s all for now. Thanks again for keeping up with my random thoughts, and thanks especially for those who have given encouragement during the past few months. Talk to you all soon!!

Welaba!

Rwanda

We head to Rwanda, land of 1000 hills, in less than 2 weeks. Rwanda, where 800,000+ people were massacred at the hands of their neighbors, teachers, priests, in 100 days. Preparing for this trip, and learning about what happened is heart wrenching. This is another one of those things that I’m not sure what to do with. I know that this happened in the past, and that nothing is going to change the fact that this genocide did happen. One of the books we read talked about how the OJ Simpson trials were going on at the same time as the genocide. I was young, but I remember those trials. I remember seeing it on the news, people talking about it, about who he was and what he had done to his ex-wife and her boyfriend. I remember it well. I don’t remember hearing about Rwanda. In all honesty, my first encounter with what happened may have been the movie ‘Hotel Rwanda’. Why do I remember the corrupt trial of a man that was paraded because of his fame, but not the loss of hundreds of thousands of lives that was happening at the same time? I’m finding it very hard to reconcile this. I’m finding it harder to accept and reconcile knowing that Rwanda had been the greatest example of evangelism in Africa; and that when the killings began many of the people sought refuge in their churches. Instead of standing up for their brothers and sisters in Christ, Hutu clergy and laymen handed over their Tutsi ‘family’ to be killed… or did the killings themselves. America didn’t stand up because as Clinton confessed, there was no American interest in Rwanda. The question that has been eating away at me is, why didn’t the church do anything? One American (literally, one), a pastor, stayed in Rwanda when the US pulled everyone out. I’m not looking forward to this trip because I haven’t been able to process the past events, events that didn’t happen that long ago. I am looking forward to this trip because I believe it offers mourning over the loss of men, women and children who died at the hands of their ‘family’. I hope that in this, God shows me and the rest of the students, how we can remember this tragedy, celebrate those who stood up, and learn to prevent this from happening again. They are not happy, but I do recommend watching “Ghosts of Rwanda” and reading “Mirror to the Church” for anyone who wants to have a better understanding of what happened during the spring of 1994. I pray that this trip is a growing experience and that through sorrow, hope grows. 

The Beginning of the End

Happy Friday. Happy last day of classes. Oh happy day!

My schedule for the next month is going to be crazy, I’m not sure if this is good or bad. I leave for a safari tomorrow. Next week is the last full week at UCU. We leave at 5am (ick.) on the 17^th for our 10-12 hour bus ride to RWANDA!! Ten days in Rwanda, a few days back in Uganda before most of the students leave, then on 5/1 we leave for our 5 day hike up Mt. Elgon! Come back to Entebbe, then head home on the 9^th. More than the busyness, it’s probably going to be very emotional, as we will be saying goodbye to our Ugandan friends on the night of the 16^th before heading to a very emotional trip into Rwanda. Upon our return, those hiking will again have to say goodbye to the wonderful friends we’ve made through the Uganda Studies Program before our next adventure.

For the first time, the sadness of leaving hit me. I originally expected to feel this way, which is why I originally was set to return home in July. However, being here and learning about different aspects of poverty, culture, religion, politics, art… life… made me realize how much I could do at home and how many people in the US are just as needy (in some ways more needy) than the people here (that sounded really bad, I feel like God is calling me to be faithful at home right now). Missing my family and friends and having the desire to finish school and start whatever comes after that only added to my desire to go home, so I changed my flight to return 2 months sooner than planned. The other day, in the last chapel, I realized that I would actually be leaving UCU and Uganda, the place I have called home for the past 3 months. I would be leaving my dorm-mates, my class mates, the monkeys outside, the beautiful sunsets over Mukono’s hills. I will be leaving crazy mzungu-poker-man, and the walks into town to get a juice box of iced tea, or chips. I will be leaving the packed taxi rides over bumpy Uganda roads. Sitting outside the library at crazy hours of the night to talk to use the internet. All these things I have taken for granted; the sights, the smells, the feelings. While there are many things I will not miss (doing laundry by hand and taking cold showers, for example), there are so many things that I don’t even think about on a daily basis that will stay here as I travel back to my side of the world. I have gotten so used to watching the bushes as I walk around campus in hopes of finding a chameleon (yes, honestly). I don’t think there are any chameleons that live in the wild in NJ or PA. I won’t be able to catch lizards on the porch of Florence Hall, or sit with my roommate and talk about things like Mardi Gras, how men are the same in every country, and how we both miss home. I won’t be able to go buy 5 passion fruits for 1000 shillings (about $.40), or pick up avocados that have fallen off the trees. I will miss the cows and goats tied up on the sides of the road everywhere you go. I will miss sitting on the porch till late at night eating papaya or bouncing a ball or coloring with the friends I’ve made here. The reality of leaving has set in and now that it’s here, I’m not sure what to do with it… That seems to be my thoughts on life lately, there’s a lot I’m not sure what to do with.

As the semester comes to an end here in Uganda, I just want to share how grateful I am to those who have read this and kept up with my often-crazy thoughts. I am posting another blog about Rwanda at the same time as this, and hopefully I will get to post some safari pics when we get back. If not, this is it till the US. See you soon!!