I feel like I'm constantly living in cycles. My brain goes over the same things over and over again, and I always expect to come out of each situation changed, smarter, wiser, stronger... all those good things. I think that's the definition of insanity, but we'll diagnose my obvious instabilities later :)
I've been home for over 3 months now. Immersed back into my culture with a vengeance. I jumped, head first, into living life the American way (with the very best intentions, of course). The desires that grew, the lessons I learned, the life we lived in Uganda slips a little farther into memory each day, but that's only natural. I almost refused to process, refused to talk about my experiences. And because of that, the experiences from Uganda never got to fully meld with my life here. I don't talk about it because I know that the God who revealed His nature to me there exists here also, if I only look.
I never finished writing about my hiking trip, and probably won't, honestly. But on the mountain, we stood in places that were rarely seen by other people. In those places, under the canopy of the trees and on the ridge of the peak, God showed me that none of it was created for us. The beauty of the "red hot pokers" lighting up the faces of the mountain at dawn doesn't happen so we can see it. Like all of creation, we are here for Him. How fitting that I should reach that peak of understanding at the end of the semester, while climbing a mountain.
If we are created in the image of God, for God, how can I justify some of the decisions I've made over the past few months... ok, in my lifetime. Especially taking into consideration my attitude, and my reaction to people. How can I look down on a person, or snap at them, or get fed up, frustrated, annoyed, etc. when I'm called to love them? Instead of going out of my comfort zone to build community where it doesn't exist, I chose the "smart" route. I chose to be comfortable, not stretch myself financially too much, to make sure I could work and go to school and afford my bills within the scope of my own power. None of those are bad things, and for the very fact that I have the opportunity to build relationships within my family, I'm glad I chose this path. But I also know that had I chosen otherwise, God would have been faithful.
Now, as school is about to begin, I look back on this summer with gladness. I was able to spend the time with people I love, growing relationships, doing what I could for my family, trying to live simply and trying (but failing miserably at loving the unlovable). I look forward to the next semester with anticipation, because boy am I ready to be done with school! :) I am excited to see familiar faces, and continue to build those relationships as well as taking another step in education. I am sad, however, that I will not be seeing most of my USP/UCU friends on a daily basis. I will miss coffee on the porch, walking into Mukono and taxi rides into Kampala. Oh, and the fruit! I'm very excited for the future, for this new season of life and still, I hope to come out of this stage a little smarter, a little wiser and stronger, but most of all more humble, more loving, more genuine.
I've been home for over 3 months now. Immersed back into my culture with a vengeance. I jumped, head first, into living life the American way (with the very best intentions, of course). The desires that grew, the lessons I learned, the life we lived in Uganda slips a little farther into memory each day, but that's only natural. I almost refused to process, refused to talk about my experiences. And because of that, the experiences from Uganda never got to fully meld with my life here. I don't talk about it because I know that the God who revealed His nature to me there exists here also, if I only look.
I never finished writing about my hiking trip, and probably won't, honestly. But on the mountain, we stood in places that were rarely seen by other people. In those places, under the canopy of the trees and on the ridge of the peak, God showed me that none of it was created for us. The beauty of the "red hot pokers" lighting up the faces of the mountain at dawn doesn't happen so we can see it. Like all of creation, we are here for Him. How fitting that I should reach that peak of understanding at the end of the semester, while climbing a mountain.
If we are created in the image of God, for God, how can I justify some of the decisions I've made over the past few months... ok, in my lifetime. Especially taking into consideration my attitude, and my reaction to people. How can I look down on a person, or snap at them, or get fed up, frustrated, annoyed, etc. when I'm called to love them? Instead of going out of my comfort zone to build community where it doesn't exist, I chose the "smart" route. I chose to be comfortable, not stretch myself financially too much, to make sure I could work and go to school and afford my bills within the scope of my own power. None of those are bad things, and for the very fact that I have the opportunity to build relationships within my family, I'm glad I chose this path. But I also know that had I chosen otherwise, God would have been faithful.
Now, as school is about to begin, I look back on this summer with gladness. I was able to spend the time with people I love, growing relationships, doing what I could for my family, trying to live simply and trying (but failing miserably at loving the unlovable). I look forward to the next semester with anticipation, because boy am I ready to be done with school! :) I am excited to see familiar faces, and continue to build those relationships as well as taking another step in education. I am sad, however, that I will not be seeing most of my USP/UCU friends on a daily basis. I will miss coffee on the porch, walking into Mukono and taxi rides into Kampala. Oh, and the fruit! I'm very excited for the future, for this new season of life and still, I hope to come out of this stage a little smarter, a little wiser and stronger, but most of all more humble, more loving, more genuine.
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